I Am So Confused!

Since Hillary Clinton was in office the first time, I have been a die hard Hillary supporter. The woman is everything I have ever wanted in an elected official. The fact that she was a mom like me was just gravy. You can imagine my joy when she decided to run under her own name for the present term. Then... not so much. Some other guy beat her in the primaries.. I had stop the obsession and start listening. So I start listening harder to McCain, Obama... whatever. At this point I am just deflated that it wont be Hillary. Just to twist my hunny's short I actively begin to support Obama.
Until I caught these words fall the hell out of my mouth, well its just one vote. Who? What? My vote is just one vote so I can waste it on an uniformed lack of opinion? Damn! Thank the Gods I caught that mid-August! Phew!
Then I listen more, I read more. I voyeuristicly peruse all the posts here, Fox News, Cafemom, CNN, hell even hunny's talk radio crappola. I must, I must I must make an informed choice. Well, who is my right choice. I have even gone so far as to a pros and con list. It worked well enough to get me engaged and married and the mother of 4, it could work here. Right? Oh no! They are tied! Damn it, crap on toast...
So I meander my way though, quickly changing the conversation whence it comes to politics. I start to doubt all of my decisions. I feel so stupid! I am a college graduate (with as much education as one of the damned candidates) Damn! Blast it all! That didn't help. How in the hell didn't college help me choose who to choose to lead my country. Oh if only another Bush would run! That would make this easy... I'd vote for the other guy...
So candidate one and candidate two start choosing running mates. Fingers crossed Obama chooses Hillary. Awww Noooo, she's supporting him. Biden, who the hell is Biden? More research ensues... Umm okay, I almost like this man. I share no common goals or dreams with him, but hes not quite the anti-christ... Then the hunny speaks out loud again (I have warned him against it) Biden is.. not.. good.. huh? Why ever not? No clear answer has emerged thus far (I will keep you posted) Kay... still researching. Still stalking my online friends for opinions. Why the hell are you all so snarky. I need answers damn it! I need to know why you are choosing the way you are. I am too tired and confused to contemplate this another minute on my own.
Lo and behold Palin. In the past 24 hours I have read ever word printed about her. I am just disgusted now. More clueless than ever. She has kids...Yay! Shes a craptastic mother...Boo! Oh shes not? well hotshit Yay-ish... She eats babies... not again!!!! I cant do this. I threatened hunny I would proposition McCain for vice presidency (heard he was a manwhore, had hopes it was true enough...) Well Sweet Sassy Molassy, I can't! Im not US born and still slightly under 35... Then who? why? Who oh who has earned the right to run this country and please oh please not further into the ground???
Someone please help me! Since moving back out of the country is no longer an option I have no choice, I must choose. Pros, Cons... only the truth who and why. I will read till my eyeballs bleed forth from my head. Speak to me! Who will stand for a homeschooling, pagan mother of 4 who firmly believes in gay marriage, is pro-choice, anti-gun, pro-environment, anti-war-for-stupid-money-grubbing-reasons, and would someday like to pay for gas without a 5th or 6th mortgage...?